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10May

In respect of mental health awareness week I wanted to speak about my personal experience.

To most I’m super confident, super loud and super positive (mostly) but this hasn’t always been the case.

As some may have seen (I bang on about it enough), 20 years ago with a 3 month old in tow I was diagnosed with osteosarcoma (bone cancer) in my left leg. The hospital needed to move quickly as it had already moved into my muscles and was 7 inches long.

Nothing but nothing prepares you for this news both physically and mentally. Fast forward 6 months of chemotherapy and an operation to take away most of my leg – looking like George Dawes – numerous infections later I was “in theory” ready to face the world.

What they don’t warn you about is the psychological effects that all this has on you. My obsession for thinking the cancer was returning was suffocating. As bone cancer returns in the lungs, my continual checking of my chest for lumps was becoming intolerable for all around me. The constant re-assurances I insisted on from everyone from doctors to cleaners to lollipop ladies was becoming as ridiculous as it sounded.

When the obsession was taking over the time I should be spending with my by now small toddler I knew it was time to get some help as I couldn’t do it on my own.

Mental Health Support 20 years ago

Twenty years ago, the help wasn’t there as it is today and the stigma was massive especially for one who was deemed to be successful and “should be feeling positive as had survived cancer.” Doctors were unsure as to which avenue to take. And my employers at the time told me “to wear my wig in the office as my bald head was upsetting the team”. How I wish I was strong enough at the time to have thrown the wig in my bosses face!

After much independent research I began extensive cognitive therapy. Actually,  I’d worked within it previously, teaching murderers in the Prison Service!

After numerous sessions and more clear scans I was ready to face the world. Cancer never leaves you both mentally and in most cases your health is never quite the same, but I was one of the lucky ones.

Talk about Mental Health

Never assume that one who externally looks like they have it all, does have it all.

Speak to each other and most importantly listen to each other. You may just be helping someone more than you realise.

By Siobhan Courtney, Managing Director of The Eventus Recruitment Group

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